I Am a Mom - Mother's Day

I used to dread and despise the first Sunday in every May. This was the day when all the daddies would make breakfast in bed for the mother of their children. It was the day when all the preachers at church would have all the moms stand up to be honored. It was the day when all the moms all over the world would be spoiled and pampered. It was the day I would sit at home and cry my eyes out because I so desperately wanted to be a mom.

There was one Mother's Day several years ago when several of my "infertile" friends and I decided to attend church service at one of the area churches. Our thought was there is strength in numbers. There were about ten of us (yes, I knew that many infertile women) and we all took up the entire pew. Then the time came for all the moms in the sanctuary to stand up so they could be honored. Then the time came for all the tears on my pew to start flowing. However, the preacher surprised us by having all women who want to become mothers to stand up. You should have seen the look on peoples' faces when an entire pew stood up. Then the preacher had everyone else lay hands on us and pray that we would become moms by the next Mother's Day, one year from that day. Well, the next Mother's Day came and went and I was still not pregnant nor did I have a baby in my arms. Little did I know that my sweet Elia had been conceived and was growing in the tummy of her birthmom. God had chosen to anwer our prayers in ways I could never imagine. The following October 17, 2002 Elia Lynn Carter was born in Guatemala. However, I did not find out about her until January of 2003.

Many months passed before we were able to visit Elia. We had to wait until our case was through Family Court before we could make a visit trip. God works in mysterious ways, and our first visit trip, the first time we laid eyes on our baby girl, took place the first weekend in May which also happened to be Mother's Day weekend. There are no words to describe how I felt the day they brought Elia to the hotel and the first moment I got to hold her. I am still amazed at the automic love that occurs between a baby and a mom who did not carry her for 9 months. It is truly amazing and indescribable! Here is a picture of me holding Elia soon after she was put in my arms for the first time:

Here is another picture of Elia and me in the hotel restaurant:

And another picture of our sweet baby girl: (I feel in love with those big, brown eyes!)

Ironically, that Sunday was the day we had to leave our new daughter in Guatemala and travel home without her. It was Mother's Day and I was in tears again only this time for a completely different reason. I had felt a Mother's love, and I was having to leave part of that love behind.

The summer dragged on as we heard news that Guatemala was shutting its doors to adoption. It truly felt like a death of a child to think I may not be able to ever bring her home. Of course, we prayed the entire summer, and thankfully Guatemala decided to open its doors once more. Kevin and I could not let Elia's first birthday go by without us being there to celebrate with her so we hoped on a plane and traveled back down to Guatemala. Here is a picture with me and Elia getting to know each other once again:

Once again we had to board that plane with empty arms. However, we were able to return to Guatemala one month later to finally bring Elia home. Here is one of my favorite pictures of me and Elia: (This was taken one day before we boarded the plane with her. Look at the contentment on my face! I love it!)

Here is another one of my favorite pictures when we got off the plane at the Memphis airport. The look on Elia's face is priceless. It is like she is wanting to say "Who are these crazy, obnoxious women I am stuck with for the rest of my life?" I also love this picture because it captures my mom's love to me and Elia as well as my love for both of them.

I could not believe I was finally a mom and I could get served breakfast in bed and get pampered every first Sunday in May. However, there were other little things that I never took for granted about being a mom. The first thing I loved to pack in my diaper bag is a formula container. I used to see moms at the mall pulling those out and getting their baby's bottle ready. I longed to be the owner of one of those prized possesssions.

Another coveted mommy item is the Cheerios container. Once again, I could not wait to carry one in my diaper bag, and now I got to have that proud moment. I know people may think that is a little off the wall, but if you ever unsuccessfully tried to conceive a child, you will know how I feel.

Now that I was the mom to one daughter, I knew I was not finished. I still had love in my heart to give so we started the adoption of another baby girl from Guatemala. This baby was born on November 17, 2004 and I got to once again, live my dream of being a mommy. Here is a picture of Ava and me in the hotel in Guatemala right after they dropped her off: (She was 4 months and weighed only 8 pounds. She was so tiny.)

Here is picture of me, Ava, and my mom once we got home. It was taken at a baby shower given by friends. I love this picture of the three of us.

Here is Ava at 5 months old:

And another one of Ava at 6 months old:

I have to admit that being a mom is not always easy but it is something I will NEVER take for granted. My friends laugh at me because I drive a minivan with my kids' name on a sticker on either side of the back of my van. They have no idea how much that van and those stickers mean to me. They are so much more than just a van and stickers. They are a symbol to me that I am a mom! I could not be more proud of my girls!!!