How it all Began

I met my husband when I was just 17 years old, and I knew the minute that I laid eyes on him that he was someone special. We got married a couple years later, and we had plans on having the traditional family with 2.5 kids. We got married young so we knew we wanted to wait a while before starting our family. After enjoying each other for 4 wonderful years, we started trying to get pregnant. It did not happen the first month or the second or the third or even the 33rd month. We started seeing a fertility doctor who ran several tests, performed several surgeries, as well as administered 4 artificial inseminations. All of these were unsuccessful. After 4 years of treatments, we decided to look into invitro fertilization. We had been in prayer about it all, and we just wanted to do what God’s will was for our family. We were on our way to the clinic to start the IVF process when the clinic called and said their offices had flooded from busted pipes and they would not be able to see us that day. Kevin and I looked at each other and it was at that moment that we knew God intended for us to start our traditional family of 2.5 kids through the gift of adoption. It was at this time when we got off one roller coaster and boarded another. We started researching all of our options from open adoption to closed adoption to domestic to international. We started getting serious about domestic adoption, but soon felt that was not for us. We then turned to international adoption. Now we needed to make the decision about where we were going to find our baby. We researched some more, and felt like God was leading us to Guatemala. People often ask us why we chose Guatemala. The obvious answer is that was where our baby was going to be born. We felt it in our hearts. We started the paper chase and were soon on the waiting list for a referral of a baby girl from Guatemala. We began buying baby clothes, toys, furniture, etc. We could not believe that we were finally going to be parents! However, our excitement soon turned to despair. Our agency called us into a meeting and told us that we needed to switch countries because of the Hague Convention that was threatening to close adoptions in Guatemala. We were several months away from getting a referral so were devastated at this news. I can remember crying and crying and feeling like I was never going to be a mom. However, God must have been speaking through my husband because Kevin turned to me and said, “Jenny, our baby girl is in Guatemala. I do not know how or when we are going to get her or even who she is right now, but we will bring our baby girl home from Guatemala.” He said it with such a peacethat I could not understand at the time. The very next day we went to church and told our friends what happened. They had been through the whole infertility roller coaster with us so they felt our pain at this time. Our entire church began praying for us. One church member came up to us and gave us the number to the agency she had used. Feeling hopeless, I emailed this agency when we got home from church. The very next day this agency called me back and I told them our situation. The lady on the other end of the phone said, “You are not going to believe this, but we have a 3 month old baby girl waiting for a family who is paper ready. If you start now, your case may not be affected by the law changes of the Hague.” Our baby’s birth name was Elia and her birthday was October 17, 2002. Once again, we were in disbelief. We could not believe this because it felt almost too good to be true. The lady from the agency emailed us pictures, and of course, we fell in love. It was a surreal feeling to be looking at our baby. You can imagine our church’s surprise when we came back to church the next Sunday with pictures of our baby. Their prayers had worked. That May we decided to make the trip to Guatemala to meet Elia for the first time since our case was in the final court. We chose to visit her over Mother’s Day weekend since I had spent so many Mother’s Days feeling sad and lonely. It was the most wonderful weekend ever! Elia was just 6 months old, and she was absolutely adorable. We could not believe how quickly we feel in love with her. We took tons of pictures that weekend to capture all the wonderful memories. We were able to meet our attorney, visit her orphanage, see a little of the country, and take in all of Elia that we could in just a few short days. Leaving her was the hardest, most painful thing we have ever had to do. My husband and I both sobbed all the way home and even for days after we returned home. Of course, the visit made the wait seem like forever because we had already fallen in love with Elia. It was at this point that we had no idea how much we would still need prayer and how much longer we would have to wait to bring her home. The Hague did come to Guatemala with much confusion and distress. Shortly after we returned home from our visit trip with Elia, we were told that if your power of attorney was filed before March 5, then your adoption would follow the regular adoption laws of Guatemala. Our paperwork was stamped March 10. We spent the entire summer waiting and wondering what was going to happen with adoptions in Guatemala. At this time, virtually all adoptions had stopped in Guatemala leaving many families in longing to bring their children home. It was the saddest, most emotional few months of my life. I was so upset about missing all the “firsts” in Elia’s life such as her 1st tooth, the 1st time she sat up, the 1st time she crawled, her 1st words, etc. In September of that year, they finally ruled the Hague Convention unconstitutional and announced that all adoptions would continue. I will also never forget that day because it was one of the happiest days of my life. Like I mentioned before, adoption can truly be an emotional roller coaster. Elia’s 1st birthday was approaching soon, and this was a first I was not going to miss. We knew our case should be finished soon, but her 1st birthday was too important to us so we jumped on a plane and flew back to Guatemala. We had high hopes that things would be just as sweet and wonderful as they were when we visited the

firsttime. After all,we had spent an entire summer missing her and longing to be with her again. Our hopes were high and very unrealistic. After all, Elia was 12 months old now, and we were going to find out that things were going to be very different than they were just 6 months before. I can remember walking down to the lobby to be reunited with our sweet baby. I walked over to the caregiver who was holding her and tried to take things slow. However, once Elia was placed in my arms, she started bawling. She cried and cried and would not stop unless her caregiver was holding her. There are no words to describe this feeling. It is the most painful thing a mother can experience. of course, I understood that she did not know us like we knew her and she did not remember us from 6 months earlier. The attorney and the caregiver went up to our hotel room with us thinking that if we spent more time together, Elia would adjust. My husband tried to hold her and she seemed ok with him. Not happy, but definitely better. The caregivers left, and things went from bad to worse. When I took one step towards Kevin holding Elia, she started screaming. It was like she was terrified of me. My poor husband now had to deal with me crying as well as Elia crying. It was so painful. We spent the rest of the evening trying to make Elia feel comfortable and loved. Kevin would hold her while I fed her a bottle or her food. All of our bonding techniques began to work, and Elia feel fast asleep that night. By the next morning, she was well rested and was starting to trust me. In fact, she even started calling me “mama.” The rest of our week went well. We got to know Elia all over again, and grew to love her even more than we could ever imagine. We had a 1st birthday party for Elia at her orphanage. It was the most wonderful birthday party! All the children had a great time, and Elia enjoyed all the attention. Once again, we had to make the dreaded flight home without our sweet baby. Our attorney told us that we should be back in a month to bring her home. To our great surprise, we did return in exactly one month to bring Elia home.

We were unsure if Elia would remember us from just a month earlier. It was obvious that she did remember something but she still went through a grieving process when her caregivers left her for good. This was our 3rd time on a flight home from Guatemala and this time, it was with our sweet baby girl. When our plane took off for the U.S.A. we shed tears, but this time they were tears of joy. We were greeted with about 80 friends and family members at the airport welcoming us home. It was the most overwhelming feeling and the most amazing day. Our roller coaster had finally come to a stop. Just a few short weeks after being home, we knew our family was not complete. We knew we had to adopt again. Elia had been home about 4 months when we hopped back on the ride and started the paper chase all over again. This time we chose a different agency, and got our referral within just a month or two of finishing all the necessary paperwork. We were matched with a beautiful baby girl who we planned to name Ava. We soon discovered that this baby had a genetic problem and would not be adoptable at that time because she was not identified as a special needs baby. All we could think was, “Here we go again on this emotional ride.” So, once again we waited for another referral which came just 2 weeks later. Ava Grace was born on November 17, 2004. Kevin and I were very hesitant to fall

in love with the baby in the picture because of all the things that could go wrong and everything we had already been through. We went to church the following Sunday morning and our preacher gave an amazing sermon which spoke to us in so many ways. Our preacher has a thing about red cardinals and encouraged the congregation to pray that God will bring a cardinal into our lives at times of doubt. Kevin and I took our preacher’s advice. We prayed to God about how nervous and uncertain we were that things could go wrong with this adoption. We prayed that we would see a red cardinal if this baby was truly meant to be ours. It was the day before Thanksgiving and I spent most of the day looking into the sky for that beautiful red bird. We were going over to Kevin’s parent’s house that night for dinner and we were convinced that maybe God intended us to just have Elia as our only child. After all, it was nighttime at this point and we were sure not to see any birds flying at night. Elia was playing in the other room and she picked a book off the bookshelf. She came walking into the living room where we were sitting and the cover of the book fell off as she brought it to me. She plopped the book into my lap and staring back at me on the back cover of this book was a beautiful, bright red cardinal. I looked at my husband and we both had tears in our eyes. Of course, we could not ignore such an obvious sign that Ava was meant to be our daughter to so we proceeded with her adoption. In just three short months we received the call that we could bring Ava home. We could not believe how fast her case went through all the courts. We still had to wait for her birth certificate to be filed, but we were able to bring Ava home when she was just 4 months old. Of course, this meeting with Ava was much different than Elia due to Ava’s young age. When the foster mom brought Ava to us, we could not believe how small she was. She was only 4 months old, and she only weighed 8 pounds 15 ounces. It was obvious that she was extremely malnourished. We were so anxious to get her home and fatten her up. Of course, Ava took to us instantly and our trip to Guatemala felt much smoother than it had in the past. We were so happy to bring home our 2nd child from Guatemala. Our lives are so full, and we are so incredibly blessed. We now thank God every day for all those tears shed during infertility treatments. If I had gotten pregnant, we would not have our beautiful baby girls. We cannot imagine life without them. We have been through so much, yet this is only the beginning. We have so many memories yet to come with our daughters. Our lives feel so complete, and we are so grateful for our traditional family of 2.5 kids. (I guess the .5 comes from the dog. Ha!)