Now I Know Why

Kevin and I had date night tonight while mom and dad took the girls. We decided to see The Grace Card. What an amazing movie! I saw God work in the lives of the characters on the screen just as he has worked in our lives. One of my favorite lines from the movie is when the pastor was going back into surgery to donate his kidney and he said "Now I know why!". That is the same way I feel about what God has done in my life.

During all those horrible years of infertility, I can remember feeling bitter and angry and resentful at everyone including God. I just could not understand why He would allow me to go through all that pain. After all, He is God and He could perform miracles so why was this miracle not being performed for me? I had grown up in a good Christian home and I had always tried to do the right thing. None of this made any sense to me at all.

Fast forward many fertility procedures, prayers, phone calls to adoption agencies, and many many tears. The day we got news of Elia Lynn Carter is the day I could say "Now I know why!" Of course, I said it again when we got the picture of Ava Grace Carter. However, I didn't stop saying it then either. You see, Elia was born on a dirt floor in a very remote and poor village of Guatemala. Her birthmom had many other children, however this birth in the dirt proved to be too much for her mom's aging body. Elia's day of birth was also the day Elia's birthmom went to be with the Lord. Ever since we got the bitter sweet news of how and why Elia came to be our child, we made a promise to ourselves and to God that we would give back to the country that gave us so much. We have spent the past 3 summers doing missions in Guatemala and building houses for families so no more babies have to be born on a dirt floor. Elia and Ava even got to travel back to Guatemala last summer for the first since they were babies. This was an unreal experience for them as they got to see where they came from and hopefully, appreciate all they have now.

This summer we will take a team of about 30 back to Guatemala to build more houses, hold VBS every day in the villages, build a feeding center and chicken coops, and install stoves so families can have clean air in their lungs.

It is so easy for us to look back and say "Now I know why". It is so much harder to trust God when we are in the midst of heartache. The important thing to remember is that God does have a plan for our lives and His plan is SO much bigger than our plan! Just look at these two beautiful girls and you will see proof that God is in control!

NOW I KNOW WHY!